Yesterday there was a Christmas party here in our division at work, and one of our requirements was to bring a gag gift, a white elephant Christmas present.
I had the toughest time finding one. I was going to bring one of those old school cellular phone bags, but I couldn't find it.
I found a book at Goodwill called "Doctor, am I a virgin again?" but no, that wouldn't work either.
Just hours before the party, I found the PERFECT GIFT. Summed up in five words, its:
SANTA. CLAUSE. CONQUERS. THE. MARTIANS.
It was a hit.