Over Two Years Ago....

It's been so crazy, listening to music that reminds you of when you first started listening to it. Two years ago, to this time period, was when I first started listening to bands like Bright Eyes and Modest Mouse. I remember being very lonely, and life suddenly getting more interesting. Hanging out with friends more often. Bright Eyes and Modest Mouse, to me, signify the death of some things and beginning of others. At the time, the two blatantly anti-God (but not so much with Oberst) bands, among others, gave me more spirituality and gave me more insights and depth to God than much of what I had been getting on the other side. To feel, and understand Oberst screaming, pleading: "Could you please start explaining? You know I want to understand".... my heart still aches every time I hear it.

And it's not even really about the specific music, just the fact that I'm reminded of things from it. At that time a relationship was ending, and a new relationship was beginning. I was spending less time worrying about things, and more time just living.

Sometimes I wish things were like they were back then. The smell of Beth and Nicole's apartment, their little el gato, being a pal, Falls Park apartments, etc. But then that would would just nullify everything I've gained. I like right now, no matter how tired and worn out I am from just about everything.

I wouldn't trade anything for the world.