Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm going to be a father.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful,
       I know that full well.  Psalm 139:14

My wife and I found out a few months ago that she is pregnant.  Needless to say, we both were quite shocked.  And terrified.  And excited.  If it's possible to feel all of that at the same time.  But I did.

I don't know why, but I haven't really talked about this much.  I don't know of it's because we know many people who are pregnant at the moment, or because every time I write it down or talk about it I feel like things are more and more set in stone. 

And it's not that I don't want to be a father.  I'm incredibly excited--more and more every day.  But there's this fear that goes with it.  This terror.  I don't feel ready.  I don't have it all together.  How on earth can I be a father?

But then there's this excitement of teaching and sharing life with a son or daughter.  The idea that I can take them to museums, read them great books, share ideas and thoughts with them,  take them to amusement parks, travel with them, and so on.  It's pretty exciting.

I'm already working on a playist for our kid as far as music goes.  This sounds corny, but that alone is pretty cool. :-)