Nearly Home...

Hey all,

Well, tomorrow we will be returning from the NRB. It's been a fun and interesting time, and I'll have to tell more about it when I return tomorrow.

Then it will be time to start on a 15-30 page paper for Senior Seminar, due Friday.

Yeah, I'm screwed.

February 14

I've said it before...but


Beware the Ides of February. It's good practice.

The Nature and the Wreck

Yesterday, while driving on 985, about 50 yards in front of me, a car pulled out in front of another that was driving about 65 mph. In a split second, an explosion of dust and glass erupted in front of me, and two cars wheeled around in the middle of the road.

The wreck was horrible, which surprised me to find out that most everyone in the cars were relatively okay--most were in shock, while one girl was freaking out and claiming that she couldn't breathe; it seemed she was just shocked. I pulled over beside the wreck and got out to see if everyone was okay. I helped open doors, etc. After about a minute, a dozen or so people had congregated around the area, helping out, calling authorities, etc.

It amazed me how many people flocked to the wreck to help. At first it gave me hope for mankind. But then I realized something else: it's sexy to look like a hero. It's another story for people to tell to others, showing their selflessness and generosity.

Maybe that's why I left. Maybe that's why I'm telling you this story now. I did want to help!--I wanted to make sure everyone was okay. But just think how cool it is to tell Beth about how heroic I was at the scene of the accident. If I wasn't abstinence man, she probably would want to have sex with me! She'd be calling me "my hero."


But a real hero would have prevented the wreck from ever happening I guess.

Over Two Years Ago....

It's been so crazy, listening to music that reminds you of when you first started listening to it. Two years ago, to this time period, was when I first started listening to bands like Bright Eyes and Modest Mouse. I remember being very lonely, and life suddenly getting more interesting. Hanging out with friends more often. Bright Eyes and Modest Mouse, to me, signify the death of some things and beginning of others. At the time, the two blatantly anti-God (but not so much with Oberst) bands, among others, gave me more spirituality and gave me more insights and depth to God than much of what I had been getting on the other side. To feel, and understand Oberst screaming, pleading: "Could you please start explaining? You know I want to understand".... my heart still aches every time I hear it.

And it's not even really about the specific music, just the fact that I'm reminded of things from it. At that time a relationship was ending, and a new relationship was beginning. I was spending less time worrying about things, and more time just living.

Sometimes I wish things were like they were back then. The smell of Beth and Nicole's apartment, their little el gato, being a pal, Falls Park apartments, etc. But then that would would just nullify everything I've gained. I like right now, no matter how tired and worn out I am from just about everything.

I wouldn't trade anything for the world.